Yesterday was marvelous…

 

Starting with the amazing “Al Imam Al Shafaii” walk; visiting one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever been to, along with our 3 wonderful tour guides; Camel, Timur, and Hassabo (This is my first time to attend a walk with Hassabo and I must say I so much enjoyed his talented way)…

 

When a day starts with such beautiful people, it must end perfectly.

 

So, after this perfect walk I had to run to the Cairo stadium to catch up with the procession heading to Egypt’s critical match with Côte d’Ivoire.

 

Well, I must say that I’m a crazy football fan. (Yes, it’s true… I’m a female and I’m crazy about football). But yet, in my entire life I haven’t been to a football match except once, in Alexandria stadium where Egypt was playing Vs. Ethiopia in the Burkina Faso-African cup of Nations 1998 qualifying. (The one we won its cup). Egypt won that day 8/1, and my brother told me “Weshek 7elw 3ala el monta7′ab”…

 

Yesterday was the second time in my life to attend a football match and the first time for me to experience Cairo stadium. It was simply an AMAZING experience… with all these colors, enthusiasm, and passion… All I can say is that I can hardly speak now, for my throat is burning from screaming during the match and all the through the night after it…

 

The time range between the two experiences is about 8 years. I must say that I truly enjoyed the first time very much, but still, I felt I was an alien somehow with all these different social categories surrounding me… with no sign of girls at all…

 

But, yesterday was totally different, it felt like I was in a café or a club, I met so many people I know, it felt like… HOME… and I must confess that this made me enjoy it even more…

 

p.s.

I badly needed such a day to get out of the tight mood I was living through lately, so I really have to thank you Eman and thank you Camel for encouraging me to join the Cairo walk in this specific timing.

 

p.p.s.

After this 3/1 victory, I started to believe that “Weshy 7elw 3ala el monta7′ab begad” (JUST KIDDING)

 

I hesitated a lot before writing this mail… 

I didn’t wanna share this with anybody…

 

May be because I didn’t wanna believe that this is really happening to me…

That it is true…

That I really lost him…  

 

I was shocked to an extent of not feeling the pain…

 

I didn’t cry on the day he died…  I didn’t panic either… I was simply… shocked…!

I couldn’t believe it… for Heaven’s sake… he was so alive… we left home together… I was on my way to get some new clothes for the feast… and he was on his way to get some stuff for Mama… he was SO alive…

 

I just couldn’t believe that it could end in a matter of few minutes…

 

When anyone I knew lost any of his parents… I used to feel really sorry for him…

But… it is totally different when you’re the one who’s losing now…

 

It felt really strange when I woke up that day and didn’t find him sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for the Fajr prayer…

 

It feels strange to me when I pray for him now…

 

When I talk about him… I still say… “Papa”… can’t say “Papa, Allah yer7amo”…

 

But still… I believe in “Qada2 Rabena”…

 

I might not be that religious but I know I am a believer…

I believe in Allah very much… and I trust HIM… I know that HE chose to take him now because he was in his best times in his relation with GOD…

 

Yesterday I heard a friend of mine talking with another friend of mine about me… she was saying… “I pity Rehab… for she’ll always correlate 3eed el ad7a with her father’s death… and every time the feast arrives she’ll remember her father”

 

I didn’t comment… but deep inside I smiled… for nobody will understand this… that it has nothing to do with the feast… for I’ll never forget him… he was… everything…

 

It’s been 2 weeks now… and I guess I’m finally getting to believe that he won’t be there anymore…

 

I really don’t know why I am sharing this with you now… may be it’s just that… I felt I’m missing him like hell now… so I decided to write anything…

 

One last thing, I read this quote long time ago… but for GOD’s sake, how true it is for me now…

“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”

               Clarence Buddinton Kelland

 

N.B.

I’m REALLY sorry for the very bad mood…