December 30, 2007

Mind Freeing

Posted in English, Reflections at 3:47 pm by Rou...

So… I finally took my end year vacation, grabbed some clothes, half a dozen of unread books (dreamt of finishing half of them but couldn’t), my paper notebook & a pencil, stored some of my favorite music on my mp3 player, switched off my cellular phone, and headed towards El-Gouna promising myself a technology free vacation… and so it was – if I ignored the fact that I switched my mobile phone on a couple of times and had a couple of phone calls…

 

The miraculous thing about this is the fact that I did not check my email for whole 5 days (it’s almost impossible for me to stay 5 hours without checking it in normal), did not open the TV for news, did not buy a newspaper (although got shocked as soon as I arrived with the news of the assassination of Benazir Bhutto… a very respectable woman she was…), and did not think of meeting agendas or projects schedules… it was only me and the sea… with the flow of the precious words I read along with the music enriching my soul…

 

I desperately needed this kind of vacation… needed to throw away all the disappointments and sadness of the past 2 years into the sea and return new born…

 

What a tough year it was… this 2007… At its start, when some painful events started to occur, I called it “the 2006 extension” referring to the worse year ever in my life; 2006… And this was something completely wrong to do… I guess what made 2007 really tough is the fact that I convinced myself it’s gonna be so before serious things actually happened… sometimes expecting the worse makes it happen, or at least makes it impossible to enjoy the good things… it makes you so pessimistic and fails to enjoy whatever beauty life might bring…

 

Well, this was extremely off beam… and thanks to GOD I had a stand with myself a few months ago and promised myself to learn from all the bad experiences I have encountered throughout the past 2 years and dig out whatever good they came up with… and I guess I finally learned not to personalize things and that it’s not about me… it’s simply life’s happenings…

 

However, there was one thing left I had to do to make sure I am on the right track… and I finally did it last night while witnessing an amazing seen of the moon rising up from the sea at 10 pm (I never imagined it that beautiful)…

 

I cleared my mobile inbox… I went through each and every message, read every single word… remembered each situation as if it was yesterday… then deleted all those who brings me painful memories… messages from people who happened to be close to me at a certain time in my life… and now they are only memories of the past… It felt really strange while doing it… it was as if I was trying to forget my history… to erase certain period of my life… But then again, I keep telling myself… No, I wasn’t doing so… it’s just that… whenever I read those messages I seem to be getting hurt all over again… I don’t know… but I guess I did the right thing…

 

Some things are better left as history with a new leaf turned on upon them… sometimes you has to forsake some painful experiences in your past so that you can be able to move forward in life…

 

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