May 5, 2008

Blues…

Posted in English, Reflections at 9:40 am by Rou...

Do you know these days when all what you wish for is never to get out of bed… you just want to pull the sheets all over your face and make the world… fade away…

 

Today was one of those dark days… where I truly couldn’t find one single thing to excite me and encourages me to get out of bed… where everything seems to be ugly… and hopeless…

 

But anyways; I eventually moved out of bed… after zillions of struggles with the bed sheets and snoozing the alarm more than an hour… I tried to cheer myself up a little bit, and started humming “My favorite things” while wearing my clothes… but ALAS… it didn’t work out… and I felt even bluer…

 

You know, whenever I used to have these negative feelings invading me I used to remind myself that tomorrow is another day, and that tomorrow the sun will rise and all this darkness I am surrounded with will eventually fade away… I don’t know why it’s not working with me this time… I am very depressed and I do not see a single beam of light in the horizon… I am not anticipating any brightness in the near or far future…

 

I wish I could just melt away in a stream of blue melodies… I mean… nothing really matters anymore… nothing worse could happen… I’m already paying the price of my misunderstanding to “obsolete” words such as ethics, morals, and love… and what makes it even sadder is the fact that I am – seemingly – bleeding my beliefs out; willingly and joyfully.

 

I would pay anything for one of those days when I used to feel a kind of gratitude in my flattered heart and wake up everyday with a thankful smile and a song of praise upon my lips…

 

If only…

 

 

Rehab

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4 Comments »

  1. Mermaid said,

    There is a gleam of light around the corner ya Rou… trust me on this 🙂

    Love you sooooo much… (a tight hug)

  2. sleeplessrou said,

    I don’t know… I’m not sure of this anymore ya Mayo…
    I used to repeat this to myself all the time… but… I do not have faith in it anymore…

    It is this moment that you lose faith feeha that everything turns upside down…

    It is not a world where one can hope for the better……………….

  3. Emad said,

    I’m already paying the price of my misunderstanding to “obsolete” words such as ethics, morals, and love… and what makes it even sadder is the fact that I am – seemingly – bleeding my beliefs out; willingly and joyfully.
    This is really describes my feelings and my thoughts now ya Rou
    Rabena m3aaki , cheer up ya Rou ,
    when i waked up i was feeling bad , i become better after listening to some sala7 gahin roba3yat , try to
    يأسك و صبرك بين ايديك و انت حر
    remember also that our chemicals may drive our mood , so just wait for urself to be better , it is a matter of time , trust urself

  4. sleeplessrou said,

    3aref ya Emad… ana dayman kont baradded le nafsy “راح تنتهي و لابد راح تنتهــــــــــي مش انتهت أحزان من قبلهــــــــــا” when I feel down awy… or facing huge stuff awy…

    Bass mesh 3arfa leh this time nothing’s really working with me… May be because there’s no “specific” thing this time… it’s a combination of 7agat keda ma3 ba3daha…

    Bass anyways… I really am hoping for the better… I am hoping… but am not beleieving… that’s the difference this time… 😦


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