March 11, 2009

Life is not a fairy tale…

Posted in English, Fav. Lyrics, Fav. Movie Quotes, Reflections at 5:27 pm by Rou...

Am not a heavy Arabic music listener… If it’s not for Fairuz, Moneer, or some chosen tracks for other singers, you can hardly ever find me listening to Arabic songs… However, a few days ago a dear friend of mine sent me a song by Mahmoud El Essiely named “مش زي الأفلام”… the song is not that impressing, yet a particular sentence from it kept popping into my mind that said:

و أتاري الدنيا مش حلوة كلها، مش زي الأفلام اللي هو بيحب يخشها”…

 

Listening to it, I immediately remembered some words from a scene of one of my favorite movies (The mirror has two faces), that said: … it’s like going to the movies and we see the lovers on screen kiss, and the music swells, and we buy it, right? So, when my date takes me home and kisses me good night, if I don’t hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him!

 

Though quite different, both phrases triggered the same thoughts in my mind… that real life is not a fairy tale… that no matter how relationships appear to be at the beginnings, at some point in time people seem to be losing that scent that their relationships used to have and things become a sort of a duty… and days come when they feel completely overwhelmed with their relationship that they can’t seem able to take anything anymore… this is the real world kind of love…  this is real… not a fairy tale…

 

But, the thing is that I somehow tend to believe that when relationships fail or even turn into this kind of routine, it is more likely that both partners are responsible for this… not because one them is bad… but rather because the two of them never knew what to expect from each other… they got into the relation just for the sake of being in love… and their definition of love and its consequences was mainly extracted from movies and fairy tales… she’s expecting him to be acting like prince charming, while she totally forgot that she’s not Cinderella… and he’s expecting her to be the Sleeping Beauty, while he totally forgot that he have no clue how to save her from her hundred-years curse…

 

And speaking of fairy tales, I always believed that anything can be seen from a different perspective… so after all maybe it’s not about prince charming who saves Sleeping Beauty…  but rather it’s about dozens of young princes who die horrible deaths trying to get through the thorn hedge that surrounds the Sleeping Beauty, just because they had the bad luck to be born before her hundred-year curse expired; while one young prince, no better or worse, no handsomer or uglier than the rest, gets through merely because he has the good luck to arrive just as the hundred years are up; and so on and so on… and hence, you can see that fairy tales are not always splendid…J

 

So, either ways, my point is that we need to learn to understand the difference between a real life relationship and movie fantasies, we need to understand our needs along with our partners’ needs, we need to set our expectations based on solid grounds, not mere fantasies, and we need to love our partners the way they really are, not what we imagine them to be…

 

Am not a fairy tales hater… I just learned to be a realist…

 

Anyways, below is the full lecture scene from “The mirror has two faces” movie, it’s an amazing one, worth reading/watching…

 

Enjoy it! J

 

Rou…

 

 

As I stood at the altar beside my sister and her husband to be, it struck me that this ritual, called wedding ceremony, is really just the final scene of a fairy tale…

They never tell you what happens after…

They never tell you that Cinderella drove the Prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle, cause she missed her day job, right?

They don’t tell us what happens after because there is no after…
The be-all and end-all of romantic love was…?
Sex…?
Marriage…?
But it wasn’t always like that!

Around the 12th century there was a notion known as ”courtly love”, where love had nothing to do with marriage and nothing to do with sex…

In most cases it was defined as a passionate relationship between a knight and a lady at the court who was already married, and so they could never consummate their love… In this way they would have to rise above… your ordinary… you know… ”going to the bathroom in front of each other” kind of love…

They would go after something more divine…
They took sex out of the equation, and what was left was a union of souls…

Clinical experts, scholars and my Aunt Esther are united in the belief that true love has spiritual dimensions, while romantic love is nothing but a lie… an illusion… a modern myth… a soulless manipulation…

And speaking of manipulation … it’s like going to the movies and we see the lovers on screen kiss, and the music swells, and we buy it, right? So, when my date takes me home and kisses me good night, if I don’t hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him!

Now the question is; why do we buy it?
We buy it because whether it is a myth or a manipulation, let’s face it… we all want to fall in love… Right?

Why…?
Because that experience makes us feel completely alive…
Where every sense is heightened…
Every emotion is magnified…
Our everyday reality is shattered, and we are flung into the heavens….

It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon… but that doesn’t diminish its value… Because we’re left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives…

I read an article a while ago that said, ”When we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads”… I love that… I think it’s because his music fully expresses our longing for passion in our lives and romantic love…

And while we are listening to La Bóheme or Turandot, or reading Wuthering Heights, or watching Casablanca… a little bit of that love lives in us too…

So the final question is: Why do people want to fall in love when it can have such a short run and be so painful?
Propagation of the species…?
Psychologically we need to connect with somebody…?
Are we culturally preconditioned…?

Good, but much too intellectual for me…

I think it’s because, as some of you may already know…
While it does last, it feels f*kin’ great…

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6 Comments »

  1. Mermaid said,

    God, I totally forgot about this movie 🙂 I used to love it, specially that its soundtrack (I Finally Found Someone – Brian Adams) is absolutely one of my TOP favorites every. Thanks for bringing it back to memory 🙂

    The quote is just … AMAZING! Yes, it feels GREAT 🙂

  2. Rou... said,

    I love that movie ya Mayo too 🙂
    Thanks for passing by sweety!

  3. meto said,

    Eh Ya Rou da???

    I was more than impressed. I never heard of the movie, i want it so badly.

    And I agree with all what you said, by the way, this is one of the best posts on your blog 🙂

  4. Rou... said,

    It’s a nice movie ya Meto… and this scene in particular is one of my fav movie scenes ever…

    Thanks a lot dear, am just glad you liked the post 🙂

  5. Lex said,

    This is such a terrific movie. Lately i’ve been thinking a lot about the real meaning of love, the real dimensions, probably because I think I’m in love with a girl.
    I’ve become to realize that love has value for itself, for me love is nothing but the simplest feeling that makes our lives complex, yet complete. Although I think you are totally right, I gotta say that the real beauty of love is when you think your partner is perfect, when you say “my god, no one is that beautiful, but she is…” you know what I’m sayin’… Maybe it is wrong for people to be blind when they have found love or at least when they think they are in love; but I think that as long as it feels fucking awesome for lovers, who cares? There is nothing more exciting than living a beautiful dream, holding romantic love even for one second.
    This movie depicts the real sense of love, I mean, the sense of feeling totally crazy that you think you own the world. I think this feeling is priceless. In the other hand, when that love ends we feel completely devastated don’t we? As Barbra says in her speech, the only thing that matters is that we are left with memories we treasure for the rest of our lives. We can forget about losing that special love eventually, but the time of love is something that we will never forget. Somehow that experience makes us stronger and lead us to reach real love, not the fairy tale kind of love; we just know it when love comes, and we can’t avoid it, but we can learn from it.
    Well, I think this post is great. You combine really well what you say with the little fragment of that amazing movie. Thank you… 😀
    PD. Life is not a fairy tale, but it can be if we want to… If we understand that no matter the harsh proofs life gives us, life is always beautiful 😉

  6. Rou... said,

    hmmmm… First of all, thanks for passng by and taking the time for writing me such a well written comment…

    I loved the ending lines of yours “Life is not a fairy tale, but it can be if we want to… If we understand that no matter the harsh proofs life gives us, life is always beautiful”.. i cannot tell you how inspiring those words are for me, especially that I am passing through some critical stage of my life…

    I also loved your own interpretation to being blinded in love… although I do not totally agree, but I have to say you’ve got a point in what you said…

    Thank you, really, for passing by… you made my day, in a time, when hardly ever anyone is able to do…


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