October 10, 2010

Seasons of the Heart!

Posted in English, Fav. Lyrics, Quotes, Reflections at 11:24 pm by Rou...

Yesterday, I looked at the calendar only to realize that ten years of my life had passed with a blink of an eye… and like a sweet dream, the memory of one fine day that took place ten years ago came back to me out of nowhere…

Once upon a dream, an optimistic conversation full of laughters with my group of friends in college took place, where a sincere pledge was taken that whichever way life took us, and whether we got married or not… we will always remain friends… and that if for any reason life took us apart, we will meet on a day like today… on the tenth of October 2010…


And so we did… today… 10/10/10…


I cannot possibly describe the extreme mixture of feelings I had during and after the gathering… not because it’s been years since we met… No… we do meet every now and then… and, thanks to Facebook, we are still in touch… tab3an not as close as we used to be… but… we’re still friends…


But, the feeling I had was more of a very strong nostalgic wave… it was as if you’re having the past ten years passing infront of your eyes like a video tape… I could easily visualize certain scenes with full conversations… it was all coming back to me… the good and the bad… the happy… the sad… it was ALL coming back to me…


And in the middle of all this, I, again, came to the fact that I’m not even half the person I used to be… and that I’ve changed a LOT… and the usual struggle started inside of me of whether that change was for the better or worse…


Then… all of a sudden, and like a harsh slap on my face, I remembered one of my favorite quotes that say… “We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change!”… and I got stunned… I mean… if I do accept and understand that friends change… why can’t I accept my own change… why am I always questioning it… and feelings nostalgic to the old me… and what does it really matter if I’ve changed to the better or worse… the end result is the same… I am not that cute little shy girl with Japanese eyes that I used to be… I might appear similar to her… in the looks perhaps… but nothing more… but that doesn’t mean that the self dependant and strong woman I am now is worse… she’s just different… that’s all…


And then again… it’s not only about my own change… it’s about everything around me… One of those who were in the gathering today was my boyfriend in college… I was looking to him when he was talking with astonishment, and was full of wonder that how on earth was I madly in love with him at some point in time… I’m not saying that he’s not worth it… at all wallahy… he’s a very good guy… but it just hit me that even the heart has its seasons, not only the mind…


And like John Denver describe it in his amazing song “Seasons of the Heart”… “Of course we have our differences, you shouldn’t be surprised… It’s as natural as changes in the seasons and the skies… Sometimes we grow together… Sometimes we drift apart… A wiser man that I might know the seasons of the heart…


I guess, after all, it’s all about the seasons of our hearts… minds… souls… and… lives…


Rou…
On 10/10/10 , 10:10 PM

Advertisements

2 Comments »

  1. Zandzz said,

    I love the post .. especially the boyfriend part. I always wonder if a few years i look back and think how I ever was madly in love with this or that person or crazy about this or that thing .. then why on earth am I clinging on those things that I know for sure won’t work out. And isn’t it about time I look back at them and get astonished as well! wala mesh kefaya keda 😀

    And I’m happy you made it work and really gathered. I really feel hopeful when such promises are fulfilled. Just brightens my day 🙂 Thanks

  2. Rou... said,

    My dear sweetly Randa… I am just glad you loved it…
    I would say… keep thinking that it’s kefaya keda… but don’t push on yourself much… when it’s time to let go, you will let go… sada2eeny… fee la7za bete7sal… that you cannot really detect… and you wake someday and you’re fine… really fine… and really over this whole thing… no clue on the reasons though…

    The funny thing regarding the looking back thing… is that it applies not only to someone you were in a relation with, but also with ppl who were best friends at a certain time… and you look back to them and wonder how did that ever happen while you cannot have more than 5 minutes conversation with them now… I tend to feel this a lot with my schoolmates…

    As for the fulfilled promise… I have to admit that I was more than happy that we did it… it made my day even though it left me with the nostalgic feeling invading me… 🙂

    Thank you for passing by sweets! 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: