October 31, 2010
موت
مات اليوم إنسان…
وماتت معه أحلام و أمنيات عاش بها ولها…
وأصبح في لحظات… مجرد ذكرى إنسان…
ربنا يرحمك يا أدهم… ويلهم أسرتك الصبر…
October 24, 2010
African Voices: Cry the Beloved Country!
We cannot really talk about African literature without tackling a classical masterpiece such as “Cry, the beloved country” novel written by the South African author Alan Paton in 1948, and screened into two movies in 1951 and 1995… This classical work is by far one of the most remarkable novels that carried a social protest against racism and the injustice structures of societies in Africa in general and South Africa in particular in the history of African Literature…
Taking place in the troubled and changing South Africa of the 1940s, the novel brilliantly gives its readers the feeling of a mysterious connection to three main threads; the land, an old black rural priest searching in a corrupted city for his son, and an old white rural man confronting the loss of his son… In search of missing family members, Zulu priest Stephen Kumalo leaves his village to cross the gloomy city of Johannesburg… With his sister turned prostitute, his brother turned labor protestor, and his son, Absalom, arrested for the murder of a white man, Kumalo struggles to bring his family back from the edge of destruction as the racial tension throughout Johannesburg hold back his attempts to protect his family…
“This is no time to talk of hedges and fields, or the beauties of any country… Cry for the broken tribe, for the law and the custom that is gone. Aye, and cry aloud for the man who is dead, for the woman and children bereaved. Cry, the beloved country, these things are not yet at an end…”
One of the interesting things in the novel is the symbolic role that the Church played, from my point of view, representing a faith that is unpretentious… With its holey roof, the church seemed to offer little shelter, yet still had this ability of holding ceremonies nonetheless…
The novel is full of bitterness sugarcoated with a slight ray of hope that can be noticed throughout all its chapters, I quote some of its bitter sweet words below…
“In a land of fear, this incorruptibility is like a lamp set upon a stand, giving light to all that are in the house…”
“I have learned that kindness and love can pay for pain and suffering…”
“One thing is about to be finished, but here is something that is only begun…”
“I see only one hope for our country, and that is when white men and black men, desiring only the good of their country, come together to work for it… I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they are turned to loving, they will find we are turned to hating…”
It is well worth mentioning that, amongst all his works, Paton has two other novels, “Too Late the Phalarope” (1953) and “Ah, but Your Land is Beautiful” (1981), as well as a short stories collection, “Tales From a Troubled Land” (1961), that dealt with the same racial themes that concerned the author in his first novel…
“Cry, the Beloved Country” is a profoundly compassionate story that is written in such a way that touches its readers’ hearts deeply leaving them no option but to sympathize, share, and get emotionally involved with each of its characters’ lives… It is a pure classical African tale that inspires a new faith in the pride and dignity of mankind…
Rou…
October 15, 2010
Of Marriage and Building Families…
I had quite an interesting conversation with a dear friend, that even though not a “close” one with the classic meaning of closeness, but someone that I so much enjoy talking with… it’s been like 2 years since we last talked, which is quite normal in our relation by the way… we do not talk or meet much, but whenever we do, things flow easily as if we were together yesterday…
Anyways… like I said, he had disappeared for quite a long time then came back to me a few days ago telling me that he got married and that last week was his first anniversary with his wife… and he wanted to simply share with me his view about marriage and family after one year (which is as far as I’ve always heard, is the toughest year in any marriage), since we used to discuss this a lot before…
And so it was, a long talk about the pros and cons of marriage from his point of view after his new experience, that ended to my own surprise, knowing how he used to think of it, with the below conclusion…
“Marriage is the reason why not everyone runs in another direction when seeing another guy or girl that he likes, marriage is about making a family, and families are the only people that you can’t cut off and just go… Families are the only ones who will always accept you just the way you are…
With family you have no choices, you are stuck there and you adore this fact, it isn’t a prison nor is it a heaven… But rather something in between; a kind of foundation where everyone contributes through years and years of hard work with zillions of happy and sad moments…
When you say “I do”, you know for sure that these two simple words will change your life forever, you aren’t so sure if you will be thankful or regretful for saying them, but the moment you do, you realize that your fear of commitment doesn’t fear you as you think it will… But you have to always remember why you proposed on one knee for this moment to come true, because only then that you will be able to pass the hard times and your heart will slow down a little bit in anger times, and your senses will come back to you…”
There’s nothing I can add over here, I just wanted to share this with you…
My friend, I’m glad you found the peace of heart you were searching for…
Rou…
October 10, 2010
Seasons of the Heart!
Yesterday, I looked at the calendar only to realize that ten years of my life had passed with a blink of an eye… and like a sweet dream, the memory of one fine day that took place ten years ago came back to me out of nowhere…
Once upon a dream, an optimistic conversation full of laughters with my group of friends in college took place, where a sincere pledge was taken that whichever way life took us, and whether we got married or not… we will always remain friends… and that if for any reason life took us apart, we will meet on a day like today… on the tenth of October 2010…
And so we did… today… 10/10/10…
I cannot possibly describe the extreme mixture of feelings I had during and after the gathering… not because it’s been years since we met… No… we do meet every now and then… and, thanks to Facebook, we are still in touch… tab3an not as close as we used to be… but… we’re still friends…
But, the feeling I had was more of a very strong nostalgic wave… it was as if you’re having the past ten years passing infront of your eyes like a video tape… I could easily visualize certain scenes with full conversations… it was all coming back to me… the good and the bad… the happy… the sad… it was ALL coming back to me…
And in the middle of all this, I, again, came to the fact that I’m not even half the person I used to be… and that I’ve changed a LOT… and the usual struggle started inside of me of whether that change was for the better or worse…
Then… all of a sudden, and like a harsh slap on my face, I remembered one of my favorite quotes that say… “We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change!”… and I got stunned… I mean… if I do accept and understand that friends change… why can’t I accept my own change… why am I always questioning it… and feelings nostalgic to the old me… and what does it really matter if I’ve changed to the better or worse… the end result is the same… I am not that cute little shy girl with Japanese eyes that I used to be… I might appear similar to her… in the looks perhaps… but nothing more… but that doesn’t mean that the self dependant and strong woman I am now is worse… she’s just different… that’s all…
And then again… it’s not only about my own change… it’s about everything around me… One of those who were in the gathering today was my boyfriend in college… I was looking to him when he was talking with astonishment, and was full of wonder that how on earth was I madly in love with him at some point in time… I’m not saying that he’s not worth it… at all wallahy… he’s a very good guy… but it just hit me that even the heart has its seasons, not only the mind…
And like John Denver describe it in his amazing song “Seasons of the Heart”… “Of course we have our differences, you shouldn’t be surprised… It’s as natural as changes in the seasons and the skies… Sometimes we grow together… Sometimes we drift apart… A wiser man that I might know the seasons of the heart…”
I guess, after all, it’s all about the seasons of our hearts… minds… souls… and… lives…
Rou…
On 10/10/10 , 10:10 PM
October 6, 2010
Of Healing!
Time Travelling – By Oriah Mountain Dreamer
So, here’s today’s six month observation: it has taken me six months to really see- to know- the reality of what has happened. I mean, I felt the pain, but it has taken me six months to really get that the marriage is over, that the dream I shared with this other to co-create a life and a home, to spend the rest of our lives together is finished. Now, I may be a slow learner, and I am not saying I have gotten it “once and for all,” although there does seem to be some stability in the knowing that was not there over the initial months when I would spiral through and then away from this knowledge. Earlier, I simply could not fully take in the reality of what had happened.
Surely this is part of the healing: being able to see what is, to grasp what has been lost, what has been injured, what has died and what remains. Because we cannot heal what has not been grieved, and we cannot grieve the loss that has not been experienced. And we can’t experience something fully until we do. That’s probably the hardest part: the unpredictability of how long it will take to grasp loss and change at all levels of our being. It doesn’t happen all at once, but in bits and pieces: I see an art exhibit or eat at a restaurant I know Jeff would have enjoyed, and I feel the impulse to turn and share it with him, (and delight in his pleasure) and then I remember that I can’t; I have a hard day and my muscles anticipate curling up to be held in familiar arms, and then realize those arms are no longer available. And slowly, as the new reality is faced and felt, what is sinks in.
I’ve always loved the quote by Suzuki Roshi: “We don’t need to learn to let go. We need to recognize what is already gone.” But it takes time to recognize what is gone, to absorb loss, to see and feel the new normal and make our internal and external adjustments. Often we have to tell the story of our loss to others in order to recognize what is gone. That’s what memorial services and funerals are often about: sharing stories of the loss we share so we can support each other in recognizing what is gone.
Healing happens if we allow it to, and it starts at least in part with our willingness to see and experience our losses. And sooner or later, if we are willing to be touched by grace and guided by the impulse for healing that is in our very DNA, we will be able to see and experience the loss, to know the wound fully. We may wake up in tears or wail at the moon, but it will be bearable. And healing will happen. And we will know again both our own wholeness and the larger Mystery in which we participate.
Sleepless in Cairo 